Season 2, Episode 07: Teacher’s Pest

Writer: Clifford Fagin
Director: Ross K. Bagwell, Jr.
Original air date: December 1, 1989

Before I get started, I want to make a quick note about Cassie. The last episode where she was mentioned in the closing credits was “Crash Landing” (season 2, episode 05). It seems the decision to stop using her was made after that episode was taped.

Also, assuming the original air dates are correct, the series took a week off, meaning two weeks passed between the previous episode and this one.

20-01-girls-poolIn the cold open, Brad is reading a letter at the pool, and Melody comes up and scares her (or not). Jeez, I hate when people do that.

Anyway, Brad’s parents sent her a letter: they want her to join them in France for the rest of the summer. I guess her parents don’t value commitment, considering they want her to quit her job. Maybe they don’t consider her job to be “real work”, or maybe they think it’s “beneath” her. We’re left to guess. The only clue is Brad doesn’t consider them to be “all that horrible”.

Anyway, Melody is ready to send Brad off, but Brad is torn about leaving the ranch (her “home”) and her friends – even Ted, who she apparently once described as “a walking zit”.

As if on cue, Ted (and Danny) pulls this shit:

20-02-Ted-pool 20-03-splash-pool 20-04-Ted-music-comicAfter the credits, on another day, Ted is rocking out to music and reading The New Mutants #84 (cover-dated Mid-December of 1989, which suggests this episode was taped in the autumn).

20-05-girls-catch-Ted 20-06-Brad-comicThe girls catch Ted, who tries to cover his ass by claiming he’s reading this and The Sensational She-Hulk #10 (cover-dated January of 1990) to be in touch with Buddy’s interests, so he can give him advice, but he quickly blows his cover story by excitedly relating the She-Hulk plot (supposedly; does it involve a giant lobster?). He then sits down, leans back, and falls over backwards. Ha, ha. Anyway, Melody seems to be into comic books. She likes the She-Hulk one.

Deliberately or not, Ted calls the girls “wise guys” after Brad had likened Ted to the Three Stooges in the cold open.

Suddenly, a woman calls out for “Theodore”, which worries Ted but confuses Melody, because she’s a dumbass. Yes, this is 100% official confirmation, after “Pain in the Neck” (season 1, episode 13) first brought it up, that Ted’s real name is Theodore.

20-07-Ted-AndrewsThe woman is “Old Lady Andrews”, Ted’s high school English teacher. Ted has lunch (I guess) with her. She’s the stereotypical nerdy, bookworm teacher.

20-08-AndrewsMiss Andrews is played by Laura Innes, who is David Brisbin’s real-life wife. They got married in 1988. This is her first of two appearances on “Hey Dude” (each time playing, presumably, different characters). She’s been acting since 1978 (although the early years are very sparse) and still acts to this day. She’s directed numerous TV episodes and even co-wrote an episode of “Hey Dude”, which we’ll get to later. Like her husband, she’s been a doctor on “ER” (albeit in many more episodes than him).

Anyway, Miss Andrews drones on about winning a church raffle (she seems to be either Catholic or Episcopalian) for a “holiday weekend” at the Bar None Ranch. Which holiday would this be? There are no apparent holidays in August. Don’t tell me that she means Labor Day, and we’re in September already. Ted would be back in school by then.

Miss Andrews drones on about ranch life and then asks about Mr. Ernst, who she has a lady-boner for.

20-09-Ernst-mittenOh, there’s this who-versus-whom grammatical thing that recurs throughout the episode. It’s not important.

20-10-guysDanny and Buddy are goofing off and throwing something, which goes right past Miss Andrews. When they come to the table, Ted makes the introductions. There’s some banter that leads into Miss Andrews singing “Home on the Range”, and let’s move on, shall we?

Ted passes Danny and Buddy off as his “junior staff”. For whatever reason, they don’t dispute it. Ted herds them out of there.

20-11-Andrews-hot 20-12-Ernst-distracted 20-13-Andrews-hot-2 20-14-Ernst-noticesWe then get a noticing-each-other sequence between Miss Andrews and Mr. Ernst that reminds me of the sequence between Melody and Bill in “Rehearsal for Romance” (season 1, episode 06).

20-15-Ted-splashes-Ernst Later, Mr. Ernst comes over to Ted while he’s cleaning at the tack room, and Ted accidentally splashes his boss with a bucket of water.

20-16-Ernst-wipesTed apologizes, but Mr. Ernst tells him to calm down. He asks Ted about Miss Andrews and admits to finding her attractive, which upsets Ted.

20-17-Ted-complainsLater, outside the boys’ bunk house (which we can clearly see is labeled Bunkhouse 7), Ted complains to Danny and Buddy, who don’t give a shit. We learn Miss Andrews once made Ted write “I’ll never be tardy again” 1,000 times on the blackboard. We also learn Ted wasn’t on the baseball team. Ted likens Miss Andrews’ presence to his mother being here. It’s hard for him to be himself. He also mentions her attraction to Mr. Ernst, which Buddy, fearing a “new mom”, doesn’t take well.

20-18-Buddy-pissed 20-19-Andrews-poolOn another day, at the pool, Ted is uncomfortable with seeing Miss Andrews in a swimsuit.

20-20-guys-poolTed complains to Danny, who finds Miss Andrews kind of hot.

20-21-Andrews-ErnstMr. Ernst comes over and is clumsy, which Miss Andrews likes, but Buddy believes she’s flirting with him, because his dad “isn’t funny”. The guys get back to pool work while Mr. Ernst entertains Miss Andrews with a lame joke.

20-22-Buddy-hits-Ted 20-23-Ted-wetBuddy accidentally knocks Ted into the swimming pool and then runs off.

20-24-Melody-guysAfter the commercial break (which, again, comes unusually early in this episode, though not as early as in the previous episode), on another day, Melody approaches Ted and Danny with the idea of writing letters to Brad’s parents in support of Brad staying at the ranch, which Melody will mail out. The guys agree, although Ted is egotistical and obnoxious about it. Also, for some reason, they’re just now hearing about Brad leaving. Danny ditches Ted when Melody asks Danny to help her with the pool chlorine.

20-25-Buddy-boxBuddy shows up, looking for Miss Andrews, but Ted guesses Mr. Ernst took her on a trail ride. Buddy is upset that his dad is spending so much time with someone that’s not his mom, and Ted is confused over the blurring of lines between teachers/girls and parents/guys.

20-26-Ted-bootsBuddy has brought his dad’s new, expensive-looking cowboy boots out here to soften them up with some saddle soap, so he won’t get blisters (callback to the series premiere). This gives Ted an idea.

20-27-spying-1Later, as Mr. Ernst and Miss Andrews return from their ride, Buddy and Ted spy on them from a tree. We get some background info on Mr. Ernst. After he graduated from accounting school, he “had a little stint with Uncle Sam” (his father’s brother, Sam Ernst, owns a hardware store). Miss Andrews says she loves hardware.

20-28-spying-220-29-flowersMr. Ernst pulls some flowers out of a pot and offers them to Miss Andrews. Y’know, I’ve seen this done before – on “Family Matters” and in Archie comics. The “Family Matters” one was particularly creepy: on the way over to Laura’s house, Steve Urkel stopped by the cemetery.

20-30-Ernst-love 20-31-Andrews-love 20-32-Ernst-hat 20-33-Buddy-gag 20-34-Ernst-pailMr. Ernst walks Miss Andrews to her room (#201) and awkwardly excuses himself. He steps in a pail. It looks like someone is currently cleaning the guest rooms or else left the stuff here.

20-35-Andrews-bootsAfter his dad leaves (still wearing the pail), Buddy arrives and gets Miss Andrews to ask him about what he’s busy with. He’s going to break in his dad’s new cowboy boots (callback to the series premiere), which involves dunking them in lots of mud, boiling them in water for an hour, and laying them out in the sun all day. Miss Andrews takes the boots and insists on doing it herself in secret. Also, the corrective English teacher mistakenly uses “I” instead of “me”.

20-36-Brad-AndrewsLater, a coworker named Vince (probably one of the crew or wranglers on the series) lets Brad into the corral, where she parks her horse. She encounters Miss Andrews (this is their only scene together, but they’ve already met) and discuss the trail ride. Miss Andrews brings up a location that Brad identifies as Indian Rock. Wait, wait, wait. Indian Rock is about five hours from Tucson by car. Mr. Ernst must have really gotten lost!

Anyway, Brad learns what Miss Andrews is about to do and that she got the idea from Buddy. As with Mr. Ernst in the series premiere, this genuine believing in the “breaking-in” process makes Miss Andrews look like an idiot.

20-37-Ernst-boots 20-38-Ted-Buddy-trouble 20-39-Andrews-glasses 20-40-Ted-Buddy-trouble-2Later, Ted and Buddy are summoned to Mr. Ernst’s office. Miss Andrews is also there. The two adults are pissed at the kids, who accept responsibility. Much like Ted does, I wonder how Mr. Ernst knew of Ted’s involvement. They certainly didn’t talk to either of them prior to this scene. Did Brad simply say “I bet Ted gave him the idea”? Ted explains his discomfort to Miss Andrews and apologizes. To his relief, Miss Andrews will call him “Ted” from now on. Buddy explains his discomfort to his dad. Mr. Ernst says Miss Andrews is “a new friend” (read: don’t expect to see her often, if ever again). Mr. Ernst and Buddy’s mom haven’t been together for quite a while, but he assures Buddy that she’ll always be his mom, and he’ll always love Buddy best.

20-41-Buddy-Ernst-hugBuddy and Ted apologize to Mr. Ernst. Buddy apologizes to Miss Andrews.

20-42-strict-AndrewsMr. Ernst and Miss Andrews try to come up with a suitable punishment, but then they start laughing, which confuses Ted.

20-43-Ernst-boot 20-44-boots-okayYeah, the boots on the desk were decoys. Mr. Ernst had found them in the barn. Nice way of tricking them, Mr. Ernst, but you’re lucky that they didn’t notice you wearing your boots while you briefly got up to walk around.

Ted learns a female coworker was involved in saving his job, and Mr. Ernst basically tells Ted to go down on her as thanks.

20-45-Brad-TedLater on, Ted comes by the corral. After a bit of playful flirting, he thanks Brad (sort of). Brad feigns ignorance. Ted gets down on his knees before the “superior one”, probably willing to give her head on command.

20-46-Brad-soaps-Ted20-47-girls-eveningThe pre-credits scene at the end, in the evening on whichever day, has Brad in a good mood, happily whistling. We learn Melody is a Guns N’ Roses fan (bit of a surprise, considering she’s a “nice” girl, but she also likes rap), and there’s a current or imminent tour. For what it’s worth, see here and here.

20-48-girls-happyBrad lets Melody in on the good news (she can stay at the ranch) and thanks Melody. Melody claims it was all about keeping her “fashion source” around. Brad quotes part of what Ted had written: “And for a girl, she’s not a bad dude.” Oh, I don’t know. I bet she’s a bad enough dude to rescue the president.

20-49-guys-listenBrad says maybe Ted’s not such a bad guy. Ted and Danny were listening in on them.

20-50-Brad-angryBrad chases them off and swears revenge against “Theodore” (complete with an angry growl).

So ends another day at the Bar None.

This episode was nice. It’s nice to see the on-screen chemistry between a real-life husband and wife. Also, Ted and Buddy’s worries felt realistic. Brad’s subplot was barely there, but it did add a bit to her character (in the way that the others think of her) and upbringing.

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One response to “Season 2, Episode 07: Teacher’s Pest

  1. Thanks for another great review! I always look forward to Wednesdays! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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