Season 5, Episode 13: War

Here we are: the final episode of “Hey Dude”. When I first started this blog, I had doubts about being able to finish it. It had taken me almost six years to review 34 episodes and 26 comic stories of “Captain N: The Game Master” – on my own Captain N site. It had taken me nearly six months to review the 13-episode “The Legend of Zelda” animated series. I managed to review two episodes of “Neon Genesis Evangelion” before losing interest. What I’m getting at is I didn’t exactly have a good track record with reviewing stuff. I decided to take on the challenge of reviewing “Hey Dude” for two reasons: 1) to get in on the Reviewed blog trend and 2) to revisit a favorite series from childhood. Now, that journey is nearly at an end, and I can truthfully say I’ve kept to a weekly schedule. Only three episode review releases were delayed to Thursday: “Dueling Ranches” (season 3, episode 07). “Secret Admirer” (season 4, episode 06), and “Mr. Moneybags” (season 4, episode 12).

Let’s check in with the gang one more time and see what they’re up to.

Writer: Graham Yost
Director: Fred K. Keller
Original air date: August 30, 1991

A couple notes about the episode before the review:

This episode has a 1991 copyright.

This episode runs the “standard” running time (25:21).

65-01-Ernst-sleepwalksIn the cold open, Mr. Ernst is sleepwalking.

65-02-Buddy-Jake-MelodyBuddy, Jake, and Melody follow him into the main lodge.

Jake teaches us the word “somnambulist“, which Buddy takes to be some kind of horrible insult. Cute.

65-03-Melody-ErnstMelody tries to keep Mr. Ernst from bumping into things.

65-04-Ernst-money65-05-Ernst-tosses-moneyMelody insists they gotta stop him. Buddy, grabbing the money, asks “What’s the rush?!” Melody admonishes him and, via a sound effect that’s placed a bit too early, rings the bell on the desk. This wakes up Mr. Ernst. He’s confused, and the second thing that he sees is this:

65-06-Buddy-caughtBuddy tosses the money and runs upstairs, leaving his dad more confused.

65-07-breakfastAfter the credits, at breakfast in the following morning, Jake informs Kyle of what happened. Apparently, Mr. Ernst careened off the wall in the lodge, which I guess is something that he did before initially leaving the lodge, since we didn’t see it. Either that, or Jake’s exaggerating.

The girls arrives. Danny hears bells.

65-08-Jake-pointsJake points and excitedly exclaims Santa’s here. Melody informs him that it’s just Mr. Ernst wearing a bell. Mr. Ernst comes over and mentions his “somnambulistic escapades”. Kyle is confused, because all that he heard about was the sleepwalking.


Melody asks Mr. Ernst how he’s feeling. He’s fine except for a knuckle burn (from bumping into a wall). Danny asks about the box of bells.

65-10-bellsMr. Ernst brought bells for everyone to ring if they think he’s sleepwalking, because it seems to be the only thing that wakes him up. He wants them to make sure that “each member of the staff” has one of these.

Ted comes by with a box containing pieces of red and blue paper and…

65-11-trophy…the Smelt Trophy!

The what, you ask? Why, only the most coveted never-before-mentioned object among the three longest-serving teen staff members! As Ted explains, it’s named after the previous owner of the Bar None, Mr. Smelt. Wow, they actually established the previous owner’s last name. On the trophy is written: “The Smelt Trophy – awarded annually to the Bar None Champion Capture the Flag Team”. Last year’s winner is also written on the trophy: the Red Team.

65-12-Danny-Melody-cheer-1Danny and Melody go into a little cheer: “We are the Red Team!”

65-13-Danny-Melody-cheer-2“They are the dead team!”

65-14-Danny-Melody-five-165-15-Danny-Melody-five-265-16-Melody-fist-165-17-Melody-fist-2Ted explains they play a version where each team hides their flag sometime after dark, and they have until dawn to find the other team’s flag and hoist it up the flagpole. Brad would rather sleep than stay up all night.

65-18-Melody-spyMelody is really into it, though (especially the spy aspect), and tries to talk Brad into it. Brad wishes there was more at stake. Ted explains it’s “an old Bar None tradition” that the captain of the winning team becomes senior staff. That’s how he got the job. Brad had figured his parents bribed Mr. Ernst. Okay, so Ted is still “senior staff” (whatever that means), even though he had gone away and come back? Okay, whatever.

65-19-Ernst-sleepwalksMr. Ernst is pissed, because they failed his “test” (pretending to sleepwalk) by not ringing their bells. He tells them to stay alert. This is hardly authoritative, though, considering, foolish though it had made him seem, he had taken off his own bell. Brad asks Mr. Ernst why he made Ted senior staff. Mr. Ernst explains Mr. Smelt had recommended him for the job, saying Ted was a good, hard worker, and Mr. Ernst had believed him. After Brad presses the issue, Mr. Ernst remembers the “Capture the Flag” thing. He tells the teens to use their bells and leaves.

Brad’s in and asks when they start. Ted says they gotta pick teams and wants to break up “the old team”, because “it wouldn’t be fair” to Brad, Jake, and Kyle. Brad takes issue with this. Melody says they’ve played together and know the game. Danny adds they’re “a lean, mean flag-capturing machine”. Okay. Ted adds it’d be a “massacre” and had brought the paper, so they can choose teams fairly. Brad’s insulted and basically declares it’s the old versus the new. Ted agrees. The Blue Team does an impromptu cheer, which is just chanting “Blue!” repeatedly.

Oh, good, the scene’s over. Okay.


The writer of this episode (a writer for this series since season 1, mind you) is very clearly saying the entire series occurs during one summer (there’s no other way that Brad could not have known about the game, setting aside the question of where the trophy’s been this whole time). This is, of course, completely fucking impossible. It’s not just the fact that Brad remembers returning guests. It’s not just the fact that Buddy was 11 and then 13. It’s the fact that most episodes occur over multiple days. If each episode occurred over the course of one day (and avoided making problematic references), then, yes, you could fit 65 episodes into a single 90-day summer – with room to spare. However, one summer simply cannot hold all of the episodes as written and taped. I can’t believe they managed to rape the entire timeline in the final episode. For it to make any kind of sense, you have to do some serious rearranging of episodes. For starters, you have to put all of the key episodes (including this one) in the first summer (this also allows for the “fighting for senior staff” aspect of the episode to make sense, since there are plenty of episodes still to come). Then you have to spread the rest of the episodes out across the entire following summer (at minimum). Goddess, I’m getting a headache.

65-20-Red-Team-preparesLater, the Red Team runs down to the dock, and Melody and Danny mock-salute Ted. Ted came up with a design for this year’s flag and, naturally, gives the other a bunch of sheets of paper, even though the design is presumably on just the top sheet.

65-21-Danny-upsetDanny and Melody are pissed, because Ted drew “Timmy the Magic Shrimp in the clutches of the evil Lobster King”. Danny quits in protest. Melody follows suit. Ted’s like “What the fuck, assholes? That’s a motherfucking eagle clutching a lightning bolt like a fucking badass.” He also gets Timmy’s title wrong.

65-22-Danny-pissedDanny corrects him. Ted asks what the big deal is. Danny will fix the flag design and brings up the show. Melody gets excited, because it was her favorite, airing on Saturday mornings at 9:00 AM (Danny silently agrees, which makes no fucking sense, because they’re from different time zones). Melody gets Danny to sing the theme song with her:

65-23-Melody-Danny-sing“Isn’t he just the cutest little imp? He’s Timmy!”

Ted turns their focus back toward the “mission”:

65-24-Ted-weightHis “training program” was adapted from the Navy SEALs manual, including swimming a quarter-mile underwater with twenty-pound weights tied to their feet and jumping blindfolded off the bell tower. Melody says Ted’s gotten worse from last year. They argue over it. Melody says they’re playing Capture the Flag tonight, “not invading Sicily“. What an odd, outdated reference. Wouldn’t comparing it to invading Iraq be more current?

Danny says he wants to join the Blue Team.

65-25-Blue-Team-trains-1Brad is leading her team in thrilling exercises, such as “turn the other cheek”.

65-26-Blue-Team-trains-2This is followed by the Blue Team’s cheer.

For some reason, Buddy’s playing, even though he isn’t an employee.

65-27-Blue-Team-crossesWhen Brad sees “the evil Red Team” approach, she leads her team in making finger crosses against them. What’s with Brad’s Christian references suddenly? I mean, yeah, they’re flippant, but it still seems kind of odd.

65-28-Blue-Team-finger-liftsTed accuses them of spying, but Brad says they’re training and proceeds to lead her team in finger lifts. Ted says they’re “gonna lose big time”. Brad says they’ve “got a little something up [their] sleeve, so, even if [they] lose, [they] win”.

65-29-Melody-TedMelody gets Ted’s attention, but I can’t hear what she’s saying, and I don’t know why she’s doing it. It doesn’t go anywhere.

Anyway, Kyle, dumbass that he is, is about to spill the secret, but Brad and Jake shush him.

Ted says he’s “got a little something up [his] sleeve, too”. Danny insults Ted, which gets a laugh from the Blue Team. Ted informs Danny that he’s changed; he never used to be this mean. Danny blames Melody for being a “bad influence”. Melody hits Danny.

The Red Team starts to leave. Melody asks Ted what he meant. Ted says they have a “friend” on the Blue Team. Melody gets excited about the spy aspect, but Ted shushes her. Danny wants to know who it is. Ted says not here and has them follow him.

65-30-Melody-Danny-sing-2“Isn’t he just the cutest little imp? He’s Timmy! Oh, yes, he’s Timmy! Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Tim the Maaagic Shriiimp!”

As the scene changes, you can hear Danny (I think) says “Hi, folks! I’m Timmy!”

65-31-flag-loweredAt twilight, Mr. Ernst lowers the American flag in what we’re meant to assume is a daily ritual, despite never seeing it before. Why not just leave it up? It’s not like the teens couldn’t lower it when they play their game. Besides, what about the Arizona state flag that we also see on the flagpole in multiple episodes?

65-32-gangThe gang comes by as Mr. Ernst folds the flag. When he finds out that they’re gonna play Capture the Flag, he’s concerned about them doing it at night in the dark and puts an end to their plans. They protest. He cites the danger of getting hurt and the effect on his insurance rates, which is a perfectly reasonable explanation. They continue protesting. He suggests playing tomorrow, when it’s light out. They protest again. Mr. Ernst apologizes but forbids them playing Capture the Flag. As he walks away, Brad whines about it.

65-33-Red-Team65-34-Brad-confidentTed says the Blue Team is lucky, because they would have “lost bad”. Brad claims her team would have “creamed” the Red Team. Ted theorizes the Blue Team put Mr. Ernst up to cancelling the game. Despite the absurdity of this, Melody seems to agree with him. Brad disputes it and claims they would have beaten the Red Team even though their flag would have been “right under [their] nose the whole time”. Ted claims the Blue Team would have been able to see their flag but not do anything about it. Brad is still confident.

65-35-Ted-chicken65-36-Brad-chickenTed proposes they play and thinks Brad is chicken. Brad agrees to play – for senior staff. Ted is unsure, so Brad accuses him of being chicken. Ted agrees to Brad’s terms.

The Blue Team walks away, doing their lame cheer, and Ted engages in some tough trash talk. Melody tells him to calm the fuck down.

65-37-Ted-warTed declares this is war.

65-38-Danny-lookout65-39-Red-Team-warAfter the commercial break (which comes very early in this episode),…for fuck’s sake, not this again.

Oh, well, at least Melody isn’t into it. She complains about the cold. Danny and Melody are bored and “couldn’t care less about” who becomes senior staff. Melody adds it’s not fun anymore.

65-40-Danny-no-watchContinuing a proud tradition on this series, Danny checks his non-existent watch (on both wrists!) before announcing dawn is about a half-hour from now and threatening to go to bed if they don’t try to get the Blue Team’s flag. Melody tiredly agrees. Ted says he “just made contact” with their spy, who informed him that the Blue Team’s flag is hidden in the girls’ bunk house under Brad’s pillow. Melody wants to know who the spy is, but this is a “need-to-know” operation. Melody wants to throw Ted in the lake. Ted explains the plan, but Melody deserts when she learns it involves her repelling off the roof. As Melody heads to the “hay shed” (it’s “hay shack”) for some sleep and sarcastically asks if she could get shot, Ted yells after her. Danny, for a reason that even he doesn’t know, is still with Ted. Ted modifies the plan.

65-41-Brad-BuddyIn the girls’ bunk house, STOP IT! I swear Brad is just as obsessive as Ted.

Anyway, Buddy brings back some useless recon photos that he took from the bell tower.

65-42-Brad-Buddy-2This temporarily cost him his vision.

Neither team has been able to find the other’s flag yet, and Brad brainstorms.

65-43-Melody-caughtKyle and Jake come in with a “prisoner of war”.

65-44-Melody-torturedTo make her talk, they “torture” Melody with one of Mr. Ernst’s cassette tapes, featuring “Dave, master of the nose flute”.

More annoyed then anything, Melody reveals the location of the Red Team’s flag: in the lodge, above the fireplace, booby-trapped with alarms to wake up Mr. Ernst. Brad isn’t discouraged, though.

65-45-Ted-DannyOkay, moving right along…

After going over the plan and some banter (during which there seems to be someone asking “Whaaat?”, but it doesn’t sound like Ted or Danny), they hear Brad insulting Ted. Ted’s ticked, and Danny gets in a small dig at him.

They launch their assault on the girls’ bunk house (I’m beginning to think this episode is ridiculous), Danny giving a stereotypical Native American war cry. The series does this shit every so often.


65-47-Melody-tied-upI’m pretty sure that this is highly illegal, and the entire motherfucking Blue Team would be arrested in real life.

65-48-recordingTed wonders where Brad is, and Melody reveals he fell for a recording (which actually very obviously sounded like a recording from outside).

65-49-Ted-noteTed finds a note under Brad’s pillow: “Dear Former Senior Staff, Better luck next time. Your friends, The Blue Team”

Ted is pissed and plans to murder “Buddy, the weasel” (their spy). Ted calls him a “stinkin’ double agent”, but being a spy meant being a double agent; Buddy was actually loyal to his team.

Anyway, Melody hits Ted in frustration.

65-50-mouse-traps65-51-Red-flagThat doesn’t look anything like what Danny or Ted described. Jake still “recognizes” it as Timmy the Magic Shrimp, though, so I guess Danny did a total redesign. Jake loves the show, and Kyle agrees.

Note what seems to be a boom mic.

65-52-Kyle-bellsKyle, dumbass that he is, rings the bells out of curiosity. Brad admonishes him.

65-53-Buddy-flies65-54-Brad-shoves-BuddyAfter some arguing and banter (Jake and Kyle get a funny moment in, and Brad gets a cute moment in), Brad launches Buddy toward his death the flag.

65-55-Ernst-sleepwalksThree failed attempts and some banter later, Mr. Ernst sleepwalks downstairs.

65-56-Ernst-BradMr. Ernst walks repeatedly into his office door. The others want to just leave him and go for the flag, but Brad proves, one more time, how much that she cares for her boss by going over and turning him.

They fuck around for a bit with that, leaving Buddy in a precarious situation:

65-57-Buddy-traps65-58-Ernst-Buddy65-59-Buddy-drops-bellAfter Brad breathes a sigh of relief, dumbass Buddy takes out his bell and drops it, just because Jake happened to mention Mr. Ernst not wearing his bells – as a good thing. Seriously, how fucking stupid is Buddy?

65-60-Ernst-wakesNaturally, this wakes Mr. Ernst up, and he’s confused over what he sees:

65-61-hiBrad is so fucking adorable.

Mr. Ernst demands to know what the fuck is going on. Jake, the resident specialist in psychology, tells Mr. Ernst that he’s dreaming (which seems to make Brad a bit more nervous). Mr. Ernst disputes it.

65-62-evidenceJake lists the “evidence”. By the way, I don’t know if it’s merely a nervous habit of Brad’s or Kelly Brown’s, but she seems to cross her legs while standing when she gets nervous – at least in this episode.

Mr. Ernst buys it (somehow).

65-63-Brad-walks65-64-Brad-walks-2Jake has Brad lead their “little dream warrior” upstairs. Brad does this trippy, “dreamlike” walk toward Mr. Ernst to aid in the deception.

65-65-Brad-ErnstBy the way, this is the third reference to the “Nightmare on Elm Street” franchise in this series. Add in the reference to the “Halloween” franchise and various other horror films, and you could say it’s a “Hey Dude” tradition – much like pillow fights, hitting, eye-rolling, getting wet, and checking the time on non-existent watches.

65-66-Ernst-BradMr. Ernst pauses and asks Jake what the dream means, but Jake doesn’t even wanna guess.

Brad leads Mr. Ernst to the second set of stairs and lets him go the rest of the way himself (there’s a limit to her caring).

They have two minutes to get the flag, get it up the flagpole, and win the game. Buddy is reluctantly ready for another go, but Jake and Kyle go into the stupid “Blue!” cheer and lose control of the rope, sending Buddy to his doom.

65-67-oopsThis alerts the Red Team, so they brainstorm.

65-68-Ted-strippedThis leads to Melody and Danny stripping Ted – and tickling him. Somehow, they correctly guessed the flag was inside Ted’s jacket. Danny guesses Brad must have “snuck” (not a word) in earlier and hidden it. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK?! There’s no way that Ted wouldn’t have noticed – or felt – the flag.

Anyway, there’s just one problem:

65-69-Blue-flagThe “dork” defies Brad’s expectations by vowing to fly the flag. This excites Melody and Danny.

65-70-raceIt’s a real nail-biter of a race as the two teams race toward the flagpole with less than a minute to go.

65-71-Ted-Brad-knocked-outTed and Brad collide and knock each other unconscious! What now?!

Oh, following Melody’s orders, Danny and Kyle “cover” them with the flags. That makes sense.

65-72-Ernst-arrivesMr. Ernst arrives, having fully woken up, gotten dressed, and walked outside in a little over two minutes.

65-73-Melody-stretchesFollowing Jake’s lead (though it was likely her idea in the first place), Melody lies her ass off about all of them sleeping outside last night under the stars. “Brad and Ted just haven’t woken up yet.” Riiight, and how is she going to explain herself if they end up being dead?

Mr. Ernst buys it, despite the fact that Ted and Brad, the loudest protesters of the cancellation of the Capture the Flag game, are “sleeping” by the flagpole with flags on top of themselves.

65-74-Ernst-KyleMr. Ernst asks for a volunteer to raise the American flag up the flagpole, and Kyle volunteers.

Melody asks Mr. Ernst how he slept last night, and he says wonderful – except for “this very strange dream” that he had “just before” he woke up. See? It really was just over two minutes. Anyway, he proceeds to relate details of the “dream” until…

65-75-Ernst-WTFBuddy passes it off as the “latest style”, which Mr. Ernst accepts as proof of “getting old”. He tells Melody that he’s just glad that he “didn’t have another sleepwalking episode”, and I’m sure that she’s happy to let him believe that.

65-76-Ernst-looks-upAs Mr. Ernst looks up at the American flag, he says “Ah, and so begins another glorious day at the Bar None Ranch. You know, kids, I sure am glad I – I came here.”

So am I.

The teens agree.

Mr. Ernst asks them to wake up Ted and Brad before any guests see them and tells Danny to wash his face.

65-77-Ted-Brad-woken65-78-gang-walks-awayAfter Mr. Ernst leaves, the others help (a suddenly conscious) Ted and Brad to their feet.

As they walk away, each of them claim victory.

65-79-gangThe pre-credits scene at the end, later that day, has Ted and Brad returning from a visit to the doctor, who couldn’t find any sign of concussion. They’re all clear. Danny insults Ted. Brad points out that Danny’s changed and gotten meaner, which Ted, of course, immediately agrees with, and so does Melody. Jake basically says they all engaged in “brainless behavior” last night. Buddy has red welts from the mouse traps. Brad and Ted admit they got “a little carried away”.

65-80-gang-trophyDanny had the trophy engraved while Ted and Brad were seeing the doctor: “The Purple Team” (combination of red and blue and also the color of their bruises).

Kyle asks what Ted and Brad decided about senior staff. Since it was a tie, Ted wants to keep it. Brad wants them to share it, and they argue about it. Melody interrupts the argument, leaving this particular plot point unresolved. Cliffhanger! Seriously, though, how could Brad make a case to Mr. Ernst for being made senior staff, considering it was the result of a game that he had forbidden? Also, we never learned just what being senior staff means – except more money.

65-81-Ernst-walkingAnyway, Melody thinks Mr. Ernst is sleepwalking, and she and the others call, run toward him, and ring their bells.

65-82-Ernst-walking-2Nah, he’s just cleaning his hands or something.

65-83-Ernst-scaredThe teen mob scares him, and…

65-84-Ernst-trough65-85-teens-arrive65-86-Ernst-splashesI guess this kinda-sorta brings things “full circle”, because he had (partially) fallen into a trough in the series premiere:

01-39-Ernst-trough65-87-gang-ErnstJake gets the last clear line of the series: “It’s just a dream!” This is followed by something that I can’t understand. Mr. Ernst doesn’t speak in the final scene, but I think he lets out a yell as he falls back into the trough right before the credits, technically getting the last “word”.

65-88-final-shotAnd that’s all.

As a normal episode, this episode was pretty good. It was funny and entertaining, albeit absurd and manic, which has certainly happened before. As a series finale, though, well, it really wasn’t (and I honestly don’t know if it was taped last or not). It’s just another day at the ranch. There’s no sense of closure. No going home for the fall. About the only thing in this episode that brings the series full circle (aside from revisiting the Ted/Danny dynamic and bringing together all of the ingredients for a good Melody sandwich) is Mr. Ernst’s little speech toward the end.

It’s nice that everybody got to participate, though. Yep. Absolutely everybody. They didn’t leave anybody out at all………………………

Fuck, they forgot to include Lucy!


And…I guess that’s all that I have to say about this episode.

Tune in next Wednesday for the review of season 5.

4 responses to “Season 5, Episode 13: War

  1. This was never one of my favorite episodes, I think because I had liked the previous one so much. Or I at least felt there was zero continuity from it to this one. I also never cared that it explained how Ted got to be senior staff. Even as a kid I thought it absurd that any businessman would promote an employee strictly on a game activity (especially one where they run around like fools and probably disrupting the guests leisure time).

    I didn’t realize though they gave us the name of the former boss. Might have been more interesting had this aired like the first season instead of the 5th season. Too bad Lucy wasn’t in it.

    This episode is probably the only episode though that FEELS like a closure to the summer. They are preparing for next summer (interesting that all of them assume they will return). Too bad the show didn’t try to break this up into proper seasons so that the kids could age a bit and have “What happened to me during the year” stories.

    Thank you so much for tackling this. Interesting in hearing your summary/recap.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Honestly, though, it really DOESN’T feel like a closure to the summer. They don’t discuss the summer coming to a close. They don’t discuss coming back next summer. The only thing that indicates it’s getting close to the end of the summer (and it’s a very minor thing) is the fact that Ted became senior staff at the beginning of the series after winning last year’s game. That KIND OF insinuates it’s close to the end of the summer, but it doesn’t help that it comes directly after an episode that takes place in June.


  2. I never played capture the flag as a kid. However, I remember it being sprinkled in some of my childhood memories. There’s (of course) a Hey Dude episode of capture the flag. Also, I used to read American Girl books and Molly Saves the Day is a story about a summer camp game of capture the flag. Was this a rite of passage I missed out on?

    Anyhoo, I like how the Hey Dude gang divided into teams – old staff vs new staff (and buddy). I would personally want to be on the blue team. Their cheer is easy enough! If I was on the red team, I would never get the Timmy the Magic Shrimp song out of my head. Danny must really like that show. I mean, he’s totally ready to fight Ted for messing up Timmy’s name. Funny!

    One thing I still don’t understand. Why does Ted and Brad kept pointing out how Danny has “changed” and how he “never used to be this mean.” To me, it feels like it comes out of nowhere. Plus, I don’t really think Danny’s much different now. I just see him hanging out with Jake more.

    Finally, I never put it together that at the end of the game, Mr. Ernst arrives, having fully woken up, gotten dressed, and walked outside in a little over two minutes. Thanks Mark for pointing that out. I guess Mr. Ernst is the type that bounces out of bed. No lingering and hitting the snooze button. He must also pick out his clothes the night before. I wouldn’t put it past him.

    Sad this is the last episode. But, I’m looking forward to the review of season 5!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I played Capture the Flag once in…middle school, I think. I can’t imagine high-schoolers getting excited about it. And, no, I don’t think it was any kind of rite of passage.

      The thing with Danny was pretty weird. Yeah, the episode pointedly has him insult Ted multiple times, so Ted and Brad’s complaints are justified, but it seems forced. Remember Danny was a total ass in season 1 by pretending his injury was more severe, so he could take advantage of Ted’s guilt (and avoid work). That seems way meaner to me than a few insults.


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